Sprose – An Introduction

Sprose, Sproetry, Sploetry, Poams Proams… I literally struggled for 10 whole minutes on Sprose. I think this is roughly 100,000,000 times longer than anyone normally looks at spam in their inbox unless they are daft or equally illiterate.

Spam is an interesting phenomenon and every time we see spam, particularly the less inventive ones like, “FREE MICAKEAL KORS AIRJORDAN PRESCRIPTION OXYCODONE HERE NOW NO SIGGNNN UP NEEDED, ANALpr0n – LOL my best friendf s Credit Card NO interest 3.0%E´@™ Johnny Depp PLEASE SEND YOUR ACCOUTN # 🙂 🙂 L)( FOR REBATEE…,” in my comment inbox we wonder,

“Does this actually work on ANYONE?”

With that in mind we here at Easy Distance though we should share some of these comments as Sprose in our new comedy project. It’s frankly unrelated to anything else other than blowing off some steam.

We get a lot of spam. More spam that site views if you can believe that. Hundreds of thousands of poorly typed barely English words in the comments section of our blog that are somehow supposed to fool us into thinking a real person left us a message.

However the artistic audacity that spam uses the English language with, isn’t something to just be deleted. We think, simply throwing away spam is a tragedy almost as terrible as spam’s butchering of the English language to begin with. We want to provide the spam we get the proper ridicule it deserves. We will do this through dramatic and often sarcastic readings.

Here is the first salvo from “testimonythedvd.com”

Also, apologies to Spam™ for being synonymous with annoyance and poorly typed e-mails.

Enjoy.

The Joys of Teaching English

While certainly not always a bed of roses, teaching English as a second language can have sublime moments. These can range from a delightful moment of understanding during a lesson, to seeing your students use English of their own volition. One of my favorite activities is reading students’ original compostitions. Not only does it let me gauge their grasp on grammar concepts, it is an opportunity to see their personalities shine through, and understand a little of how they are feeling. Sometimes errors in syntax are downright hilarious, but I especially enjoy learning about my students’ states of mind.

I was most recently reminded of this after reading my eighth grade classes’ original poems. Among the laugh out loud comedy of some of their work, I was more often struck by the truth of their sentiments. The mixture of their childlike wonder and budding adult mentalities was sweet and moving. My students have asked me why I wanted to be an English teacher. Perhaps some of you are wondering it too, and I know there are days when those of us here dejectedly ponder this very question. So I am writing this now to remind myself on a day such as that, why things like this make everything worthwhile.

The students were given this very basic outline: write a topic and some words about how it makes you feel. The results were wonderful. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

esl poetry

Who hasn’t marveled at the parallelism of “earth as it is in heaven”? Or taken joy  in the brilliance of fireworks:

esl poetry

Or felt the effect of weather on one’s mood:

esl poetry

esl poetry

esl poetry

My personal favorite, on the drudgery of daily life:

esl poetry

On a happier food note:

esl poetry

esl poetry

Have you ever had fried chicken so good you wanted to write a poem about it? Heck yes I have!

A practical student, she finds contentment in the act of commerce:

esl poetry

While others have larger monetary aspiriations:

esl poetry

Identity crisis:

esl poetry

A call to self-reflection:

esl poetry

The beauty of space:

esl poetry

esl poetry

esl poetry

Hope for tomorrow:

esl poetry

In my imagination, I see these poems alongside poignant illustrations, a la Shel Silverstein books. Unfortunately, I lack the artistic skill to depict what I envision, but I created some meager power point images to bring their writing to life. Perhaps one day I will do them justice…Why don’t you send us your take on these delightful poems and we’ll put up on our tumblr and here!

esl poetry

esl poetry

esl poetry

esl poetry

esl poetry

esl poetry

esl poetry